MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
Bruce I. Doyle, III, Ph.D.
If you will recall the fairy tale, Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, the wicked witch consulted the mirror on the wall - each time she wanted to hear that she was still the fairest in all the land. In other words, when she wanted to she how she was doing in the world she would, consult the mirror. Well, as fairy tales go, they usually have a subtle message for adults as well. We, too, can consult the mirror.
The mirror, in our case, is the universe. If you want to see how you are doing in the world, just look around and assess your situation. The universe mirrors back to each of us a reflection of how we are being in the world.
"What in the world does that mean, you ask?" Well, every circumstance, event, or relationship we encounter is a reflection of our own projection onto the universal mirror - how we are being. It's as if each one of us was a film projector and the universe was a 360 degree movie theater with, if you wish, digital stereo sound. The script on the film that we each project matches our individual belief system.
So, in simple terms, what you experience, "out there" is a projection of what's going on "in here" - a projection of your own belief system. And, guess what, you don't change undesirable scenes in the movie by marking up the screen. You must revise the film. So, if you want to change an undesirable life situation you need to find the frame (belief) that is causing the scene that you don't like and revise the script (change the belief). The cause for what's "out there" is "in here”.
This is startling news for many because it clearly says that we are all responsible for our own life situations. When I was first introduced to the concept that "beliefs determine experience," I certainly didn't believe I was responsible for all the seeming disasters that happened in my life. There is nothing like good old experience to get one knowing the truth.
After uncovering and changing a few simple, but life structuring beliefs - such as, "I never get what I want and if I do it will be taken away from me,” and "It's always my fault" - I noticed dramatic changes in my mirror. The more of these limiting beliefs that I uncovered and changed, the better my life became. It's a real eye opener once you see the relationship between what you really believe and what you experience. This knowing gives you power that you never imagined possible. The more limiting beliefs you remove the easier and calmer life becomes.
The elusive part of this equation for most of us is discovering what we really believe. The real biggies that create most of our major limitations are not usually in our conscious awareness. They are tucked away, due to an associated trauma, or are just transparent. We can't see them as our beliefs. We see their impact in our universe and say, "That's just the way it is - for everyone."
"OK," you say, "now that I understand this, what do I do with it? How do I go about finding out what I really believe?"
Begin by being aware of what's in your mirror. Treat every experience you encounter as a reflection. Pay close attention to experiences that are highly charged with emotion. You are not looking for something wrong, just noticing what's there - becoming more aware. If something shows up that you don't like, just ask yourself, "What would someone have to believe to have that experience?" Continue asking and answering this question for yourself until you reach an answer that feels like an "aha". When you have a sudden realization - it will probably have emotion associated with it - you've reached the deep-seated "root cause" belief that is generating your undesirable experience. With this new awareness, you can now upgrade your belief system with a more empowering belief.
When your experience involves a judgment about another person realize that your judgment is about the person in the mirror - you. You are making a statement about yourself. You've uncovered something about yourself that needs to be accepted, integrated and healed. It takes real self-honesty, but the mirror can be a great tool. Use it to become more aware of what's limiting you. Change the beliefs that are holding you back. Under those removable limits you'll find an unlimited being. Enjoy your journey home.